Thinking Like a Farmer

Parenting is much like tending to a farm - delicate, rewarding and requiring constant care.

Like a farm, children go through seasons of growth and challenges, each phase shaping their development and resilience.

Here are 5 timeless lessons from a farmer’s perspective:

Don’t Shout at the Crops

Crops don’t grow faster if you shout at them.

Yelling at children also doesn’t make them learn or behave better.

Research published in the journal Child Development1, found that harsh verbal discipline can lead to increased behavioural problems in children, such as aggression and anxiety, rather than improving behaviour.

Children do not thrive under harsh treatment but respond better to gentle guidance.

Don’t Blame the Crop for Not Growing Fast Enough

Every child grows and develops at their own pace, rushing the process only hinders their progress.

“Do you not see that Allah sends down rain from the sky, and We produce fruit of different colours?”2

This verse highlights the natural processes that take place in the timing Allah sets.

Just as rain nourishes the earth, allowing plants to grow in their own time, children too develop in their unique ways, each requiring patience.

Don’t Uproot Crops Before They’ve Had a Chance to Grow

Mistakes are part of learning.

Instead of giving up on your child for a single misstep, give them time to grow and correct themselves with your guidance and wisdom.

Encouraging children to persevere through challenges, giving up too easily not only hinders their ability to cope with difficulties, but it also limits their potential to learn and grow from life’s inevitable obstacles.

Choose the Best Plants for the Soil

A farmer plants what best suits the soil.

Guide children to choose their friendships wisely, as the people they surround themselves with can greatly influence them.

“The heart is like a vessel; it is not filled except by the companionship of those who are like it.”3

This statement by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya highlights how the company children keep influences their hearts, shaping their thoughts, actions and character.

It serves as a reminder of the importance of surrounding children with individuals who inspire goodness (الخير), righteousness (البر) and positive growth.

Be Prepared for Good and Bad Seasons

Not every season is fruitful.

Some days will bring joy, and others will test your patience.

Just as farmers can’t control the weather, you can’t control every circumstance.

Place your trust in Allah, keep making du’a and remain steadfast in your efforts, trusting in the wisdom and timing of Allah.

Remember, you are sowing seeds, with the help of Allah, it will bear fruit in due time.

1

Wang, M.-T., & Kenny, S. (2014). Parental harsh verbal discipline and adolescent conduct problems: The moderating role of maternal warmth. Child Development, 85(3), 908–923. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12143

2

Surah Fatir - 35:27

3

Madarij as-Salikin (The Stations of the Seekers)